I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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