So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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