Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
