Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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