glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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