In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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