Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I will pee on everything he values.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
