yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
