why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
