there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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