D3 body, D1 cock
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
