I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
