it wasn't lemon gatorade
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
