so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
