I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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