I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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