You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
