Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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