Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
