dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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