Screwed.edu
barbara walters just said penis...
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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