He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
