Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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