Im at strip club and am horny
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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