apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
