whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
