We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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