Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
