It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
