I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
