Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
