Whats the glycemic index on semen?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
