And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
