YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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