i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
