he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
