I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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