You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
