is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
