even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
