Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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