Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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