If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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