Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
