so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
