I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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