How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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