Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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