I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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