then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
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