I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
