Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
