im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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