But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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