I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
