Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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